oh is that the technical term for it?
I'll post the short story/screenplay that I had started a week ago.
oh yes......do that......did you do that? i'll have to go check.....
it'll take me some time to get it typed up. I'll do that tomorrow.
you know, accoridng to my creative writing teacher, if you want to get a screenplay made into a full feature, you gotta gets to LA and schmooze.....la is where it's at. a meeting is the only way to ensure a success. and that means parties and models and ass kissing delux in order to score one of those.
I sincerely doubt it'd ever be that good, but one can hope.
well, if you're thinking like that, no.
when i went into creative writing the first semester, i didn't know what to expect or why i was taking it. i like to write, but i didn't think i was all that good at it or anything. i certainly didn't want anyone to read any of it. but in a creative writing class with a workshop forum set-up, you have to get over that pretty quickly. so i was like, "well fuck it here ya go be offended please".
anyway, as i wrote and shared and was critiqued and criticized, i gained a lot more confidence about my abilites. i don't like everything i've written for that class (i took it two semesters) or in general, but i can say that have written some good stories.
i think the more confidence i gained, the more risks i took, the better i did.
and then he loved some stuff. which is great. i love being accepted.
and one of my stories is going to be published in the Houston Community College Review, which is like a dream come true. heh heh. no, but it's a start, right? i'm just saying. some of it IS just in how you look at it YOURSELF.
I know... you're right. I choose my own experience. Or at least I should. But it's hard to not be subjectively critical of my own work. (btw... I'll get my stuff up asap.) I suppose my main fear has been putting a whole lot of emotion and energy and thought into a story or something, and having it ripped to shreds by overly critical people. I have a big ego at times, but it's still sensitive.
That's cool that you're gonna be published. My sister has been published a couple of times, and has won awards for her poetry... and she's only 16.
it's not really published. it's kinf of a joke really. but it's fun. and funny because it won't happen for over a year and it's such a tiny thing. anyway. i was i was really just tyring to illistrate a point. and you seem to have gotten it. it's cool that your sis has been published at such a young age. that's quite the accomplishment. she should be proud and you should be proud of her. but watch her close. you have to watch young poets.
well, since she just got her driver's license things have begun to get weird. She got a ticket for going 50-something in a 25mph zone... $300. crazy kid.
but, yeah... if she starts wearing only black, and hiding in her room all day, that's when the poetry might be getting a little weirder. I doubt that'll happen though... she's such a good girl. I am SO proud of her. She's quite talented.
my throat is burning from tomato nothing. does that make sense?
how many brothers and sisters do you have?
I'm the oldest of seven kids: two sisters and four brothers.
We're your typical mormon mafia family. We even have a van...
that's a whole lotta family goin on.
yup, and two other siblings (brother and sister) are openly gay... we're a queer bunch for a conservative state like utah
so how do they like the queer mormon life? how does your family feel about it? and what happened to you all in your childhood that made you all deviants?
well, without getting into any theorizing on my part as to what "causes" homosexuality, I'll just answer your question:
My sister was molested once by a neighbor, and my brother was also, by one of my aunt Domonie's ex husbands. This happened when they were quite young, but I sincerely doubt that that "causes" homosexuality at all.
My parents are praying very hard that they will "come back", but they still love my brother and sister. I've been very open with my parents, and I've explained to them about where I'm at as well, and they've been very supportive. But I think they're beginning to lose hope. I don't know.
My youngest sister, Emma (I only have two) was quite disappointed as well when she learned of Sarah and Matthew, but she's taken it all in stride. Although, I think she might be worried that "it" will happen to her as well.
Needless to say, it's been a difficult time for my family to adjust, and I don't think my parents will ever be completely at ease about the situation at all. I can't blame them. They believe very strongly in the church and in the possibility of change. Mainly because my father has been quite successful at living a happy life with my mother, despite the attractions that he's had as well.
So, I've been in a very subjective point of view about homosexuality, and I've often thought about writing a book about my impressions and experiences about what homosexuality is... but then I see just how little I really know.
so your dad has had leanings towards males as well. wow.....but he supressed it all?
it's good that you guys can all be very open with each other. it's just a different world to me where religion governs things like that. i couldn't possibly begin to understand it, so i guess i just have to respect it and go with that.
i don't think anything really "causes" homosexuality either. i do think that it's a mix of psychological and environmental factors though. not really one or the other and some people or more predisposed to being so. or so being because they are born as such.
yup... "I see," said the blind man to his deaf dog, as his mute parrot screamed, "look out for the stairs!"
but my father didn't always repress it. that's exactly what got him in trouble with the church so many years ago. however, he's done counseling, and group therapy, and many things, and overall I believe that his success in this has been mainly due to the support of my mom.
and I completely agree that it is a mixture of both spiritual, psychological, physiological, emotional and other such factors that will bring out latent tendencies.
i think it's weird (not weird in a serial killer way. weird in a "oh, huh. well, i'll be" way)that your dad was gay(-ish) and is not gay(-ish) anymore. can you counsel that out of someone?
well, i guess it's like i said before about the whole you can be a different kind of fulfilled and happy with someone and kids and all that traditional stuff. so yeah.
The tendencies or the temptations will never leave... they're for life. However, my father has remained committed to the ideals that are most important to him, so it makes the decision easy(er) when the inclings come.
The counseling was for a greater understanding of who he is, and what he's capable of doing/being if he's committed to it.
i think it's cool that your dad is happy and that he's done well and everything.
i'm just uncomfortable with the idea of homosexuality being a choice.
we have the ability to choose our responses. we're not machines. read "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl, and you'll understand more of what I mean.
well we can choose to act on things or not to. but we can't choose who we are. we shouldn't have to. i shouldn't be made to feel guilty for who i am or how i feel.
This is where I get to quote Eleanor Roosevelt, "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." Basically, it's entirely up to us to choose our own experience in this life. No matter how deep-seated some of our psychological or physiological processes are, we do have a choice. If it were not so, we'd be nothing more than lowly animals. I tend to believe that we have a greater potential than a life equated with grazing in pastures and mating with random heifers.
And if we can't choose who we are, then who does, and what are we? Nothing more than subjugated puppets to the "powers that be". Quite frankly, that sounds like a prison sentence to me. Maybe it's a bit of pride on my part, but I hold to the belief that we are far more powerful and brilliant than mindless conglomerations of molecules set out to follow a genetically predestined way of being. On whatever degree in the spectrum.
i'm surprised that for someone in such an involved type religion you don't attribute any of who you are to god. and i guess in a way i do. among other things.
all i'm saying is. we are who we are. you can't fight it. you CAN choose to ignore it. but you're ignoring it. it doesn't change who you are. it just makes you a liar. well, that's harsh. but if you feel a certain way and you deny yourself that thing. sure, you've made a choice. you've gone against whatever (i am not at all going to attribute any of this to the "powers that be" because they don't want us to be queer as it is), but that's all. you've just chosen to ignore it. it's still there. the choice is not whether it's there or not. it's whether to admit it or not.
i cannot CHOOSE to be straight. i don't even know how to be with a girl anymore. i know i could fake it if i tried. i could even find happiness in that in some ways, but i would never feel completely fulfilled at all. i wouldn't feel myself at all. and it's not a choice i made. it's where i found myself. i had repressed it for a long time and over the course of about a year i woke up to it. there it was. big as day. i couldn't turn away from it. i couldn't/ can't ignore it. and i can't go back now that i'm here. i wouldn't even know where to begin. for me to choose to go against that would be completely unnatural and who would i be doing it for? ME? how is that helping me?